To me, Stepford is perfection and family oriented. On the outside, Stepford is supposed to be the housewife that has an immaculate home, home cooked meals for every meal, a neat appearance, well behaved children, available to volunteer at church and at their children's schools, and keeps her husband happy and proud of being married to her.
Even when things are not at this high level of perfection, Stepford is able to keep poised, proper, and tackle the situation. Sometimes, this means putting on an exterior that is more "perfect" than what is happening behind the scenes.
One of the first modern-day connections I form in my mind is Bree Van de Kamp from Desparate Housewives. Now, if you have watched this series, you will know that on the SURFACE she seems to be as close to perfection as possible. But, everyone knows that there are things that women think about or do that they are not proud of.
When labeling something as Stepford, it is the exterior that women try to live up to. I don't think that Stepford is entirely achievable all the time by one woman, but a group of women that can become a close-knit group have a much better chance-and an opportunity to talk about the struggles they encounter and tips for how to achieve things more easily or quickly.